Author: UpAlong

A Newfie bayman farmer was overseeing his herd in a remote cove pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the bayman, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The bayman looks at the man then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The man parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe PhotoShop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the bayman and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the bayman.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the bayman says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a MP for the Canadian Government", says the bayman.

"Wow! That's correct," says the man, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the bayman. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."