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Today on UpAlong - Happy Tuesday!
  Happy NFLD Thanksgiving
Eat Ham!

The first Thanksgiving celebration by Euro-peoples in North America was not in New England but in Newfoundland by Martin Frobisher, 42 years before the Pilgrims.

Frobisher's Thanksgiving was not for harvest but homecoming. He had safely returned from a search for the Northwest Passage, avoiding the later fate of Henry Hudson and Sir John Franklin.

Given the fierceness of Arctic winter and the tragedy of these other expeditions, we can understand why he was grateful to come out alive. But why a special thanksgiving?

Frobisher sailed under Elizabeth I, whose reign was marked by gratitude from beginning to end. For her first 20 years she held public thanksgiving simply for having lived to ascend the throne -- having escaped the fate of her mother, Anne Boleyn, at the hand of her sister, "Bloody Mary," in the previous reign.

Ten years after Frobisher's return, England gave thanks for delivery from the Spanish Armada. And in her last speech to Parliament the great Queen began "We perceive your coming is to offer thanks ..." and went on to return those thanks to her subjects.

It was in this spirit of thanksgiving --for being alive, protected, and appreciated -- that the English language and culture flowered in the works of Shakespeare, Spencer and Ben Johnson. England was very different then -- it was known as "Merrie Englande: its grown men laughed, cried, danced and loved exuberantly -- like their Sovereign." This was the context of Frobisher's 1578 Thanksgiving in Newfoundland.

We don't know much of that tradition in Canada. That's because most of Canada that was colonized then was under French rule -- except for Newfoundland, which had been discovered in the name of Elizabeth's grandfather, Henry VII.



  Smile While on George Street
Keep an eye out for this dude

From VOCM News: There's a set of eyes on George Street. Twelve closed circuit television cameras will assist the RNC in performing their duties.

The provincial government is delighted to help make George Street as safe as possible and the cameras are an effective tool to do that.

The RNC Chief says the cops have a responsibility to reduce crime and also the fear of crime. He says the CCTV cameras will address both.


  Listen to NFLD Radio

Listen to the radio from 'back home'!




  Dart Player Turns Pro

Outport dart player Tom Clayton announced at the Hotel Newfoundland that he was joining the Canadian Pro Dart circuit, effective immediately, if not, sooner.

After 20 some-odd years of carrying his various teams to victories of home-made knitted socks and frozen turkeys, Tom figured that his skills are on par, if not more so, with the pro’s.

“I’m WAY beyond the days of tearing up me flights, and jumping on me darts”, said Tom, “and my ulcers have all healed, so I figured its time to take playing darts to the next level.”

Some of Tom’s old team-mates are excited that he has finally decided to turn pro.

“He’s some good, bye”, relates Joe Keeping, “We’ve been telling he for years that he’s much better than those guys on the CBC. Sure those guys don’t even drink a beer while their playing. Ole Tom only gets better with the more beer he drinks. Either that, or we all gets worse.”

Canadian Pro Dart officials published on their website this: “We are excited and proud that Tom Clayton has finally joined our ranks. We look forward to bearing witness to his multiple tuns.”

We here at UpAlong.org wish Tom all the best.



  NFLD Develops Mutated Fat-Sucking Mosquitoes

St. Johns: Scientists in Newfoundland and Labrador have somehow managed to create a breed of genetically modified mosquitoes that is derived from the infamous NFLD large mosquito family, with the exception that these new mosquitoes survive on fat, not blood.

“With all of the obesity-related problems facing modern-day society, we [fat scientists] felt that the time had come to develop this new species”, fat scientist Ian told UpAlong.

Ian added, “We let a bunch of the fat suckers loose downtown the other day and they immediately spread out and started to suck away people’s fat. Most people don’t even know they’ve been sucked on!”

It’s not just human fat.

“Our new mosquitoes will suck on any fat thing out there. A gaggle of them swarmed a fat cat the other day and, when they were done, the cat was fat-free and happy”, Ian said.

There you have it!  If you are visiting NFLD this summer, be on the lookout for these new fat-sucking mosquitoes. If you find yourself bothered by mosquitoes, then it’s likely just your fat that is attracting them.


  Devastating: New Mary Browns “Skinwich” doesn’t actually exist

For those who longed to sink their teeth into five layers of crispy chicken skin, Canadian cheese and bacon, Mary Browns spokesman, John Bayman, has some bad news. Tonight he confirmed that the "Mary Skinwich" was “just the result of someone having a little fun online”.

“While there is nothing like the taste of the Mary Browns recipe,” Bayman wrote, “the best way to enjoy it is on a piece of Mary Browns chicken.”


  New Newfoundland Quarters
A Quarter

Hang on to any Newfoundland quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than 25 cents.

The Canadian Mint announced today that it is recalling all of the Newfoundland quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each province.

"We are recalling all the new Newfoundland quarters that were recently issued," Canadian Mint Deputy Minister Jack Shackleford said Monday. "This action is being taken after numerous reports that new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated devices."

The quarters were issued in the order in which the various provinces joined Confederation. and have been a tremendous success among coin collectors worldwide.

"The problem lies in the unique design of the Newfoundland quarter, which was created by a team of mainlanders.", Shackleford said. "Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices.


  Newfoundland Firsts

If you're a Newfoundlander, you should be proud!
Here are a few tidbits of information that you may have never known before:

we were...

  • the first province to respond to Titanic's distress signal
  • the first to vaccinate for smallpox
  • the first to host a tran ....


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